Posted in School Life | Indian Schools

Copying an unique Art | School Life | Life Memer

Well, Today’s blog post is about the one of a lot of things I hate about the school which is Homework or completing the notebook because in my school no one gives a Fuck about you’re gaining knowledge or not.

Well, I’m gonna share my school that you’re not interested in listening but I’m gonna type anyway because keyboard is in my control right now but before the story let me be clear what actually I am talking about. According to my school, we have to write all the questions and answer from the back of the chapter and memorize it so that teacher can us the exact same question with a slightly different word and let us score the marks so that teacher will create her good reputation and as you all can relate that the questions and answers from the back of the chapter was our limit. Like literally we know nothing more than that because all we do is memorize them for the exam. Well, but that was not enough because there were some extra activity that will allow you to gain more marks and those activity will allow to you explore the way of learning and in simple words completing the notebook, it has nothing to do with the knowledge of anything it was just for marks and as far as i know when i was at in that class nobody gives a shit about knowledge and activity, all we do is to score marks that was our limit, that’s the only thing we told to do so. I suck at completing notebooks because I can’t stand with the work that has nothing to do with activity of student.

So, I was in 4th standard and it was the time of August and it was the last day of getting the notebooks check but i have no idea because I was absent a day before that day because my fake sickness plan worked very well. So I entered the class room and i saw there were group of 4 guys who was just copying from a notebook and almost every boy was completing his notebook and all the girls were just talking and chilling because copying from the book to the notebook for time pass, who know’s to do stuff like that better then a girl and then there’s one guy came up to me and start talking like i was kind of his friend of something but then mentioned something which was about last day of submission of subject Environmental Studies [E.V.S] and at that moment I knew I Fucked up real BAD.

So, the luckily I have around 5 classes before the E.V.S period. So I went to this geeky girl and just simply use my talking skills to get her notebook to copy all the work. I literally didn’t even take a water break and just continue copying all the work for 4 Classes continuously, and now it was the last class and i had about 30 to 35 minutes and i was almost done but then you know what happened, the mathematics teacher caught me red handed doing completing E.V.S work in the mathematics period and i don’t know for some reason she got angry and start pulling the notebook from my hands but i was not letting my whole hard work of copying get away like this but start tried to increase her pulling power and i got bored and leave the notebook and just like a every game of tug of war she ended up falling on the student behind her and then again for some reason she got more angry and she tear my whole work I’ve been doing since this morning and I almost cried because I was feeling hopeless and this is the worst thing that can happen in school.

My Teacher V/s Me

And then after that period the E.V.S teacher came up to me asking where is all my work and I told her the whole story but with a pinch of a emotional blackmail and she bought my whole story and even gave me 8 out of 10.At the time of dispersal i was in very great mood but then a I saw the Mathematics teacher left something in the school and she was going inside of the school for around 8 to 10 minutes and then I saw this as an opportunity to apologize but then I thought who wants to be the bad guy and then I used stick to the air out from her car tire and got my revenge.

So, I have a lots of my School memories to share with you guys,

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Posted in Sarcastic Life | Sarcasm

Attack Sarcasm | Sarcastic Life | Life Memer

So, today’s blog Post is all about Attack Sarcasm and we’re going to cover all of it and after reading the whole post you make sure you Like the post and Follow Life Memer otherwise you’ll not be able to unlock your hidden Superpower of wining any argument started by you with the help of sarcasm.

and I’m Bobby Fischer

Well, so let’s jump to the main question “What is Attack Sarcasm?”, According to me only Insulting other person on the basis of his/her appearance is not this is about, it is about pointing out obvious things and then modifying it into a funny tone and presenting it with pinch of hand movement and facial expression and try to make your point so strong that even the opponent starting to laugh on statement. Like, there’s always that one person in your group who is too ugly but still think He/She is Sexy AF but the reality is slight different, so here’s what you do, you’re gonna go there and point out the rudest thing like their color or their face or everything and then you translate that point with your sarcastic offensive thought and just modify it in a simpler form according to the other people and then you just slam it. So, at this point of time if you’re thinking that being offensive, jokes about their ugliness is not a good thing then you don’t belong here because you need to understand that it was just a joke.

So, I’m gonna use the same formation from the Defense Sarcasm Post because i got a lot of positive feedback in personal messages. So the key to attack someone with your words is to stay calm as much as you can and position yourself to start the argument because if you’re gonna take long time to execute the joke about any point it is going to be too late. So you just spit the first attack and then wait, let the other person think about a comeback till then you just enjoy with the group. Then like a good person you’ll give him or her a fair chance to give a comeback. Before starting just remember to “Know Your Audience ” because if you’re going to use a joke with a reference they’re not going to understand, it is going to be a total waste. So another golden thing I’m going to tell you so that you never go speechless is that if you’re having a hard time in finding a comeback just imitate the opponent’s dialogue with a twisted funny actions it will burn them up.

Now I’ve lots of stuff to share with you but not in this one, I’ll continue the Sarcasm series in which I’ll share a lots of stuff which will make you feel like Greatest in the field of Comeback.

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Posted in School Life | Indian Schools

The Heat of The Moment Mistake | School Life | Life Memer

Today’s Blog Post is about the mistake I’ve done in heat of the moment in my School .

Well, It was 23rd October 2012, I was in 7th Class and just a random day at school. People around me just talking nuisance and killing my vibe and I was like “Bit*h don’t kill my Vibe” and it was Mathematics period [3rd Period] and I was just acting like I’m the only one who is actually paying attention the teacher and then there ‘s this guy name ‘Krishan’ sitting just behind me tap on my shoulder and ask if i will play football in the next period which was of Games and Football is like my thing, I was addicted to it and there was no chance that i would say no to Football but I did and I don’t know the actual reason but I did.

After surviving the whole Mathematics class, It was Games period and we were at the school ground which is smaller than a normal school ground and I was just siting alone and by alone I meant Happily and then the guy Krishan kick the ball in the my direction and started shouting for the ball, but I was too lazy to give a look in that direction but then suddenly i heard another voice but it was a female voice and it was of my crush and she was playing with that a*shole and now I have to give a good kick directly to my crush so that she’ll find that impressive and it was easy but i kind of miscalculated the speed and the ball directly hit the face of that A-SHOLE and he started shouting with all the anger on his red face because the Kick was really good but he was shouting “Raghav, teri Gand tor dunga [Raghav, I will kick your ass]” but i was not scared of him, and as he get closer I heard my crush shouting “Nice one Raghav” and at that time time stopped and violins started in the background like old bolloywood movies.

But that guy didn’t listen to me at all and pushed my and I didn’t retaliate but my crush was still laughing and the guy shouted at my crush “Oye teko ye zada pasand hai na toh ab iske sath hi aio relationship me mere se baat krne ki zarurat nahi bewakoof ladki [Yeah, you like that kick so much ? why don’t you allow Raghav to kick you’re ass instead of me if you like him so much and don’t even think of talking to me again]” after hearing this i was in the fucking stratosphere flying but then i saw her[My crush] crying because he was his boyfriend and he literally broke up with her just because of this. Then i went towards her and started talking and then she was just opening up with me and she told me how he was treating her always and I was so angry that I took the football in hand and went towards his group and throw the ball at his face with all my force and saying one line “Stay in your limits Sucker” but he fainted and I don’t know what to do, his friend took him towards the medical room.

After he fainted I ran again towards the washroom and start talking to my inside voice and the best way to solve things up was to apologise my crush because i did a mistake and now that guy won another soft corner in my crush’s heart. But then next day when I entered in the class she was sitting with him and they were both so happy and then she saw me and came to talk to me and said it is all fine now.

And Now After 6 years I’m her only best friend and i still have feelings for her and i wasn’t able to confess because i cannot afford to lose her because not only i have to face the rejection but I also have to live it and I’ve never taken advantage of being the decider in her crazy life just because i have feelings for her.I still always hope that one day she’ll see me differently, the way I’m noticing her from the past 6 years.

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Posted in Sarcastic Life | Sarcasm

Defense Sarcasm | Sarcastic Life | Life Memer

Today’s Blog Post is about “Defense Sarcasm” , We’re going to cover all of it and most probably after reading the whole blog you’ll find that you have lot of free time and also some basic skills which will help you to at least create a Level 1 Sarcastic Defense.

By Chandler Bing from F.R.I.E.N.D.S

Well, The main question is “What is Defense Sarcasm?”, Well I’m writing in this Defense Sarcasm even before my future Sarcasm post is only because you have to understand everything defensively before making a good comeback, So answer to the question “what is defense sarcasm?’ in my words is basically, the power full retaliation of a good sarcastic or at least basic sarcastic comment which was good enough to make other people laugh and trust me everything I’ve learned so far about Sarcasm is “The more you try to gain sarcasm through any medium, the more you’ll find yourself far away from it”. Yes it will repel you away and you’ll never be able to stand anywhere with a good comeback because now days insulting other person is very common everywhere.I don’t personally think this is good, but there’s nothing you can do about it.

Chandler Bing

Now the Key to make a good comeback is to Stay Calm as much as you can, like first you have to learn how to tolerate a joke, because if you’ll start getting mad about it you’ll lose, So position yourself and even sometime laugh at your insult too because the moment you try to wipe that joke from others mind it is already too late and then you wait and whoever speaks in between the other person joke losses. There is also an important thing which “Know Your Audience”, first you need to know the level of humor of your audience because it depends on the audience that how your joke was , and also remember not to use referral jokes because sometimes some people understand the reference and some people don’t and you don’t want to make your audience feel bad for not understanding your reference, Also use one liners to make your side strong and i am not talking about cocaine liners, I’m talking about one lines jokes also watch stand up comedy too it’ll help you to think out of the box and don’t forget to watch great funny TV shows like Friends, The Office, House and The Big Bang Theory they’ll also help you out to grow.

Now I’ve lots of stuff to share with you but not in this one, but I’ll continue the Sarcasm series in which I’ll share a lots of stuff which will make you feel like Greatest in the field of Comeback.

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Posted in Relatable Posts | Relatable Life

Slip about Sleep | Relatable Post | Life Memer

So, Guys today’s blog post is all about the God’s Gift which is SLEEP, I’m not sure about anybody else but I’m the kind of person who will always choose sleep over anything in life.

So let me first start with the greatness of a sleep, I got high before writing this blog because I didn’t even have a single word in my mouth to express my love towards a sleep and the thing I like the most about a sleep is the passing time. Think this my way okay, I’m an introvert type of person so I specially cancel all my important plans and I also have guts to cancel the plan of my Best Friend’s Birthday Party the only major day of the year in which my Best Friend is actually going to pay the major portion of the bill and I’ve done that by making a simple excuse which was “Bro, I can’t come to your party bro because there’s my other friend and he is in the hospital and i have to meet him before his operation”, and literally with no regrets at all and just imagine that in between the sleep you don’t have to deal with any kind of person, problem or bad thoughts and the plus point is the DREAM, if you’re having a dream it is like watch a movie for free and there’s no selection totally random and you’re the star of your own dream.

But it is all different in the case of an extrovert. An extrovert is kind of person who’s going to wake up and the first words are not going to be ‘Good Morning’ type at all the actual words are going to be “Human, Please someone get me a human, anyone like of any gender, color, religion etc, I just want to hang out with someone” and these people are so annoying first of all they are the one who force you to dance at parties. They are so loud, talkative and irritating and sometimes when you loose your shit just straight go on attacking mode like “Shut the fuck up!, i don’t want to talk to you, i don’t want to hangout with so don’t force me you little over energetic asshole” but this will not affect them at all like they will reply something like this “Oh Okay, I’ll call you later”. That’s why I kind of like my life simple-not-sober, but they won’t let you live like this, well i don’t know about any other but as far as i know here India especially in boys groups if he is your friend then even if he is your just friend like not even your close friend he’ll without any shame kind of start involving in your life without even your permission and you cannot even say straight no to them because you’re just too kind!. But i struggle for sleep and i know a lot of people who does that too, i can understand and feel their struggle it’s like a journey like you wake up and you’re like always feeling sad for not getting more sleep and then you intake some tea, coffee or anything then you start finishing your daily tasks and then there’s an opportunity to get a 3 or 2 hours sleep but that is rare case because that is time where an extrovert is in his deadly version like a werewolf at the time of full moon so your fight for it sometimes you get that opportunity and sometimes you just have to deal with them then again you start completing your tasks and then in India you have to go through a lecture of mom and dad at the end of day in which they just want you to study at night and after studies when you’re almost passed away you finally have that sleep but there are some chances that you might have to deal with your depression and anxiety but after that you’ll finally get to sleep the most peaceful feeling enters in your mind and start getting high and you just relax, relax and relax.

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Posted in School Life | Indian Schools

The Voice | 2nd Day | School Life | Life-Memer

So, as you all know about what happen on the 1st Day and then, in next morning was not very much different until i realize that i can talk inside my head without saying anything out loud. Trust me it was literally like magic for me because I’ve never noticed my *Inside Voice* that much.
The school started 1st period of school started and i was sitting on the 3rd bench and please don’t ask me why 3rd and why not 1st bench today, because my confidence starting to decrease like every year but i was not alone on the 3rd bench i have my voice and constant talk about everything, i was literally noticing everything and then suddenly my crush approaches towards me and sit right next to my and she did not even asked my like we were some kind of friends but who cares when she is there.
This time i was not speechless and started the talk with the dialogue “So, How you Doin?” And from that moment I’ve never stopped use different kind of references to fill my sentences and she actually blushes which was a great for me.
Then in the lunch break i was just randomly sitting on my bench after eating my food and acting like i am actually studying and i don’t waste my time in recess and then the guy Ashish come up to me and starting to make me uncomfortable with his talk like “Hey, you like her[Pointing towards my crush] right?… Are you gonna propose her or what?” And i replied “Roses are red, Violets are blue
I mind my own business, You should too” and the after hearing this kind of reaction he starting to irritate me by physical touch and start poking finger on my left and hand.
I got a little angry at that time and the i ask my voice “Should i go for it?” And the answer came “Yes” and then i poked him only once but with a pencil and a bit harder and the pencil got stuck in his hand and then i panicked and took the pencil out of his bleeding wound and then my voice mentioned something the lead[Graphite] of pencil is still inside his hand.
I panicked again and this time the voice were shouting “Run for your life, Get out of the Building” and then i ran out of the classroom and went directly to the washroom because i believe  Toilet is a great place for thinking.After around 15 to 20 minutes our sports head “Ajay Sir” came into the boys washroom and ask me like a police officer but with incomplete English “Raghav, i want you to talk with me and get you out from the washroom”, but at that time i was so busy in talking with my inside voice and suddenly that voice gave me a solution and that solution fucked me up completely but it was a right decision and the decision was to go out and apologize every single person who are going to be in front of me and i was so indulged into that apologizing thing i said sorry to a seven year old kid who was just waiting for his dad to pick him up from school because he threw up on the teacher while she was slapping him, i thought this was his super power so a got up run for my hygiene.

After few hours of scolding the apologizing session ends and i went back to my classroom with a Devil Gangsta attitude on my face entered the class and gave the teacher a criminal look and went straight towards the last bench and even ignored my crush [Yes, i actually did that] but then i turn around and sit right next to her because that was seat and after that i survived the whole day only because the phone number of my parents in the school data was not correct, i gave the Pizza Hut Home Delivery phone number instead of my Dad’s phone number.

But at the end of the day my voice and i was just talking and we both decided to try weed for the very first time on next weekend.


Posted in School Life | Indian Schools

The Voice | 1st Day| School Life | Life-Memer

The Day where it All started
Before i tell you all what actually happen at that time, I should tell you that i live in India and here things are quiet different. So it was my first of 9th Class and i just finished my 1st TV Series [FRIENDS] in the holidays and i was excited to use all the Sarcasm and all the jokes in real and class 9th in a bit different from the previous classes, so i was all packed up with my stuff to fight the 9th standard with using my sarcasm and jokes as my defense and as i enter the class room i see there is this one guy who is actually jumping on the bench and shouting, and scared the hell out of me and there is a bunch of guys with a invisible tattoo on their face that is “We are Cool” and with my super power i was able to see the tattoo and there’s this girl my crush but the rudest crush in the history of crushes.
.So, i choose the first seat because you know my confidence is tearing the roof and now the bell is gone so everyone is in the classroom no new student and as the teacher enters the classroom, i start showering in my own sweat because this is the Mathematics teacher from the 8th standard, and all my pranks of 8th standard starts flashing in my brain because i hate this teacher and all i did in my 8th class is to irritate this teacher until she throw out of the class.
I was all sweating and 1st period and this teacher enters the room means, she is going to be our class teacher for the whole year and from the reference of FRIENDS i started shouting in my head “Why god! WHY!” and after a pat on my shoulder from behind told me to shut up because i was not shouting in my head and at that moment i knew i fucked up, so basically in short i successfully survived that day of school by the shit happen at the end outside of school there was this guy name “Ashish” was trying to impress girls by roasting a nerd and the girl he was trying to impress was my crush and all the jokes were too-easy-to-counterback so i decided to get in there and rescue that nerd and impress my crush and it was very easy for me and the moment i got in front of them i started by making a counter on the behalf of that nerd and then as i state my 1st comeback my crush started laughing and it was unbelievable for me and the suddenly i heard a voice in my head for the very first time and it said “BYE”, yes just these to alphabets and suddenly i got scared and starting to sweat and  it was like my whole defense mechanism drop off and i was not able to think any other counter and all i did was just stand there and watching the wanna be cool Ashish roasting me in front of that nerd and my crush. I went back home and i was not upset at all, in fact i was curious about that voice, the power of that voice stopped me from thinking my counter and stopped me from doing anything and passing an awkward smile. But by the time i reached my home i knew it that if that voice has so much power to shut my whole system up that means it can also run the whole system in a more sarcastic and power full way.